onward

Summer has been driving me crazy.


It's never been my favorite season (I'm just not built for this heat!) but this year has been the worst.

Despite my previous fears, we came to love Audrey's school. And she loved it more than we did. She thrived, made friends, and was full of new discoveries every day when I picked her up. She blossomed with the structure of it. And now the long, slow days that are too hot to go to the park leave her anxious and rowdy, bored and grouchy.

Justin and I are pretty grouchy ourselves. It's no secret that we're not really happy with our present situation here, but it's bearable as long as we're moving forward. Since we started this process over a year ago there's never really been any down-time. Now with Justin's first semester off it's surprisingly frustrating for both of us to feel as if we're just spinning our wheels for three months when there's so much to be done. Justin's working at the university and getting a lot of good experience but we kind of want to just get on with things already.

Last Sunday after church and dinner we packed up the kids and drove into the hills above Pocatello. It was good to get out of the blasted heat and we rolled down the windows of the car to feel the breeze and smell the sagebrush and pine tree smell. The views were beautiful. We snapped some pictures. We saw some wild turkeys. We talked about the future. It's so easy right now to get caught up in the small details of daily living. The tenants, and the broken air conditioners, the 3 credit classes and the ugly carpet in the living room. When I look at things like that, caught down in the thick of things where I can't see the whole picture it is slow and tedious and depressing. Driving up to the mountains that day was a reminder to look at the big picture. That all those small tiresome tedious details that drive me crazy on a daily basis are just a part of our bigger goal. That when we get done it will all be worth it.

And then, on the way back down Audrey exclaimed, "Mom! Look at that tree, it's turning yellow!" And sure enough, it was. We spotted a few more before we made it to the bottom- small trees with a few yellow and red leaves mixed into the branches of bright green. It got us excited. Apparently, even when it doesn't feel like it, time does indeed march on. And so here we go.

On to fall. On to school and learning, progressing. On to graduation, and then on to grad school. On to the next thing.