Trillium Lake

I had just dipped my toes into Trillium Lake when my Mom called.

Our house doesn't have air conditioning and the last few days had been hot. After church Justin suggested that we take a drive to go see this beautiful lake he'd heard about, just below Mt. Hood.

When we arrived we were amazed at the beauty. Words like "breathtaking!" usually sound silly to me but were completely appropriate in this setting. We took off our shoes and stepped in the water. My phone rang and I was about to say, "Mom, I'm standing in the most beautiful lake I've ever seen!" When I heard the tone in her voice.

She said, "Grandma Phyllis is gone."

We'd known it was coming, she'd had Alzheimer's for quite awhile and then recently had been hospitalized. But still, I didn't say anything about the lake.

We let the kids play for awhile as the sun set and then drove home in the dark and Justin said, "How are you doing? Are you okay?" 

I told him I was. I really was okay. The Grandma Phyllis that I knew hadn't really "been here" for a long time. I felt sad for my Grandpa and my Dad but I was okay.

We got home and put the kids to bed, I took a shower and then checked my phone and saw a few announcements on Facebook about my Grandma's death. I was surprised and a little shocked to see it there so quickly. 

I showed the posts to Justin and we had a talk about what an odd thing social media is and how I'd never really minded before but somehow this felt like an invasion of privacy. I would have liked a little more time to process my Grandma's death before everyone else knew about it. I started getting angry and I (the girl with a blog and a Facebook and Instagram) swore off all social media.

We were still talking about it and I was still angry about it when we climbed into bed. I ranted a little bit more and then started to cry. Justin held me and then said, "Is this about Facebook or is this about your Grandma?" 

And he was right.

It was about my Grandma.