Yesterday I got two messages from my sister. The first was reminding me that I hadn't updated anything for quite some time and then a little later, the second one went like this:
"Are you alive? I haven't heard from you in awhile."
In case you've also noticed that something is off, let me explain.
I am, in fact, alive.
(and kicking)
Very much so. In fact 'life' seems to be almost more than I can deal with these days. The day to day chores, the responsibilities, the worries, the lists. 'Life' seems to keep handing me challenges and then sitting back to watch how I'll cope, for instance:
-A late night discovery that left me unable to sleep and terrified about my health.
-An evening phone call from my Mom that had me worrying about my Grandpa's health.
-More paperwork than I know what to do with for cub scouts. Rechartering? Quality awards? And having the distinguished title of "unit commissioner" has given me another meeting on top of the four per month that are already required.
-I leave my weekly presidency meetings with pages of notes in my scribbled handwriting: lists of things 'to do', phone calls 'to make', lessons 'to prepare', along with questions to find the answer to that I'm too embarrassed to ask my presidency members.
-Figuring out the names of 60 Primary children. And their teachers. And their parents.
-Laundry? Again? Didn't I do that yesterday?
-Questions about buying a home.
"Are you alive? I haven't heard from you in awhile."
In case you've also noticed that something is off, let me explain.
I am, in fact, alive.
(and kicking)
Very much so. In fact 'life' seems to be almost more than I can deal with these days. The day to day chores, the responsibilities, the worries, the lists. 'Life' seems to keep handing me challenges and then sitting back to watch how I'll cope, for instance:
-A late night discovery that left me unable to sleep and terrified about my health.
-An evening phone call from my Mom that had me worrying about my Grandpa's health.
-More paperwork than I know what to do with for cub scouts. Rechartering? Quality awards? And having the distinguished title of "unit commissioner" has given me another meeting on top of the four per month that are already required.
-I leave my weekly presidency meetings with pages of notes in my scribbled handwriting: lists of things 'to do', phone calls 'to make', lessons 'to prepare', along with questions to find the answer to that I'm too embarrassed to ask my presidency members.
-Figuring out the names of 60 Primary children. And their teachers. And their parents.
-Laundry? Again? Didn't I do that yesterday?
-Questions about buying a home.
However despite everything that life is handing me right now,
I'm good.
I have more problems and worries and regrets and responsibilities right now than I ever have, and I'm sure that there are more on the horizon. But I suppose that's also just part of 'life'. And, as is always the case, there are highs that accompany the lows. I come home from church every Sunday exhausted but edified, overwhelmed but uplifted. I finish the dishes and fall into bed every night physically drained but full of love for my family. I drink hot cocoa with Justin and read books with Audrey. I'm excited to go to my parents house for Christmas.
And right now my fingernails (and Audrey's) are a very merry red.
I'm happy and most of all I'm definately
alive.
5 comments:
Good to hear you're alive and well. Sounds like you're having a very hectic holiday season. I hope it calms down a bit for you soon.
Prayers are usually what get me through times like these. Wishing you well,
xo Caitlin
Thanks for taking time out of your busy, hectic life to post. You are a great writer and I love reading your posts.
Put this post on my top favorite ones. We love you Becky and are looking forward to seeing you at Christmas.
It's so good to hear that you are alive and kicking :). I hope things can settle down quickly and you can get some relaxing moments soon!
I'm exhausted just from reading this post. Do you go to all of the cub meetings as well?
It was so fun seeing you guys last night. What a great surprise to open the door and find you on our doorstep. I'll try to think of some more depressing stories for next time:)
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