because it's June

Becky and Justin, June 2001

June is a month of beginnings for me.

Eight years ago, on June 9, 2001, Justin took me on our first date. I wore jeans and a white t-shirt with flip flops and Justin commented on the color of my toe-nail polish. We played miniature golf and drove go-carts. We had a lot of fun, there was a lot of laughing. The picture above was taken just a few days later.

It was this month four years ago when Justin and I decided to start our family. We had been married for two years and were living in a tiny little apartment in Twin Falls, and were so excited. I had my entire pregnancy planned out. We stopped all forms of birth control and were sure we'd be pregnant by July.

And then it was this month three years ago when I looked up a gynecologist/fertility specialist in the phone book and made an appointment. Justin went with me and held my hand, I was anxious to know why we weren't able to have a baby but so scared to hear what the doctor had to say. We left his office with orders for five prescriptions, four for me and one for Justin, as well as appointments with more specialists, pamphlets on polycystic ovary syndrome, and lots of forms to fill out. The beginning of another journey. I called my Mom when we got home and burst into tears.

A year later on the first Sunday in June 2007, Justin and I, along with our parents and some other very close family members, fasted and prayed that we'd be able to start our family. It was such an amazing feeling that day, to know that our families were thinking of us, praying for us. And later that month, we got an e-mail from a family member telling us about a little baby girl who was just 7 weeks old who might need to be adopted. We received pictures of a gorgeous tiny baby with light brown hair and dark eyes and fell in love. She was beautiful. And she still is.

As June has come this year, I have the same feelings I usually do. I look at Justin and remember how nervous I was on our first date and can't believe that it's been eight happy years. I mourn a little bit when I think that it's been four years of trying to get pregnant and wonder about the future of our family. And I look at my daughter and thank my lucky stars and my Heavenly Father for the millionth time that she's here in my life.

And now, with the recent changes that have been forced on us this year, I hope that this June will prove to be another great beginning for me and my family.