Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A little while ago Justin asked me if I still get my hopes up. If, despite the years of failure and disappointment, I still wonder and hope and pray every month when I'm a little late on my cycle.

Since Audrey has come into our lives, so many things have changed. The grief and sadness and anger that accompanied our infertility have magically disappeared. Over night. I don't cry at night anymore. Instead of tearing up at the mention of anything baby related I'm laughing all day long at my funny daughter. Instead of dreading church and it's focus on raising families, I'm embracing it and loving so much that I can be included. I don't count days of the month and chart ovulation anymore, I don't spiral into a weepy mess when my unwelcome period comes yet again. I'm too busy snuggling this beautiful, sweet, wiggly miracle that I get to call my daughter.
If Audrey is the only child we have we will be happy and count our blessings and thank our Heavenly Father for her and everyone that helped bring her to us for the rest of our lives.

But, we want to have more children. We want Audrey to have a little sister or brother.

Whether I get pregnant or we adopt again really doesn't matter.



It really doesn't.

But, my answer to Justin's question? Do I still get a little hopeful and then a little disappointed?



I said, "Every time."
and Justin's response? "Me too."

8 comments:

Lauren said...

I love the fact you guys have taken Audrey as your very own from day one, there's nothing better than a family taking in someone to give them a better life, I hope you realize all of the wonderful things you have done for that cute and wiggly child. I've always thought the best of both of you for that.

Vip said...

So yesterday I lied, this this the best post ever. Someday, like in days past, we will look back on this time as a fun and difficult time. So many great things to come and what an adventure it will be. I love you.

The VIPs said...

Justin, you say that every post is my best post ever. You're not a very objective critic.

ASRussell said...

Becky...you are so sweet... I littleraly teared up reading this. We truly take so many things forgranted. You have such a positive spirit and am thankful for people like you everyday!

Vip said...

That is what I am telling you, I lied before because this one is the best one. Trust me I am totally objective.

themechams said...

Becky, What a wonderful post. I was crying as I read it! You are all so fortunate to be together, sealed for time and all eternity. Whatever the Lord has in store for you, be it children through birth or those who come by way of an adoption you will be ready! What a wonderful family you have!

MaudieV said...

Your post was beautifully written. I cried. I cried for your joy. I cried for your loss. I cried for your simple faith in God and Family. We are so lucky to have you in our family.

MaudieV said...

By the way, do you get to choose your ads from Google. As I read your post, the ad was for infertility.